tytaniastrange: (Default)
[personal profile] tytaniastrange
Dear neighbor:

Believe me, when my dog barks like a maniac, it annoys me as much as it does you. I don't relish having to chase my dog down every ten minutes. I'd actually be feeling sorry about the dog being such a pain if you hadn't called me "sweetheart" informed me that I could "kiss your ass" or said that my dog "wasn't long for this world." This would be me documenting the exchange, by the way. As for telling me to "go to law school" I'm assuming that you aren't aware that my dad, the owner of said dog, is a lawyer and I actually did study pre-law for two years.

Sadly, I'm afraid that going to law school would be rather time consuming and expensive, but I did take your advice to heart. I decided to look up the noise regulations in my area. According to the law, my dog is allowed to bark non-stop for up to ten minutes or intermittently for up to thirty minutes but, and here's the kicker, if someone is trespassing, threatening to trespass or otherwise provoking the dog, then the dog can bark her head off forever. So, all those times you've yelled and threatened would count as provoking the dog which pretty much negates any claim you can make about the noise. It also means that I can report you to the police without having to worry about my dog getting into trouble.

Needless to say, I will be letting my dog out for nine minutes at a time or so. When I have you dragged off, I want to make sure there's a minimum of fuss on my end.

So, thanks for the advice and I'm looking forward to our next chat!

Sincerely,

Tytania Strange

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Tytania Strange

April 2017

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